Best lightbulb joke competition!!!!How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb must WANT to change.
How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb? How many do you think it takes?
How many male chauvinists pigs does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Let the little woman cook in the dark.
How many economists? None. They're waiting for the unseen hand of the market to correct the lighting disequilibrium.
How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to sue the original lightbulb manufacturer for pain and suffering for having to change the lightbulb, compensation for lost light, and to set a new legal precedence requiring lightbulb manufacturers to state clearly that lightbulbs may require replacing, and that the manufacturer is in no way responsible for lost wages or any other consequential damages as allowed by law.
How many mathematicians? Four. One to be sure the Texas Instrument-83 calculator has fresh batteries. One to determine which formula to use. One to change the bulb. And one to explain why it is important that you understand how you got the bulb into the socket, even if it does not come on.
How many Cold War Russians does it take to change a light bulb? None. Russian lightbulbs are perfect. They never need changing. How many modern day Russians? None. You can't find any lightbulbs that are not burnt out.
A variation: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
How many Charismatics? Five. One to change the bulb and four to pray against the spirit of darkness.How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?Freudians?
3, one to change it and 2 to hold his c*ckHow many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Four
One to change it and three to deny it.How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?Civil Servants--- at least 3 committee meetings, then a risk assessment, and finally a white paper.How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?Psychiatrists. None, the light bulb has to want to change!How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?How many lightbulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
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One to allow light while the other that is being screwed in.How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?How many Fulham fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Both of themHow many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?*--... Umm, how many blondes does it take? .. lol .. i dunno ...--*How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?men -- 1 and they wait for the world to go round them
women -- 1 cus they cant wait for the world to go round for the man to do it
sorry im not sexist really!How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?How many reality TV stars does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Their time in the spotlight is over
How many receptionists does it take to change a light bulb?
The one that tells the office manager about the light bulb problem in the first place
How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb ?
It depends on what you want them to change it into.
How many Developers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to design the change, one to implement it, one to document it, and one to maintain it afterwards.How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?irish men ( no offence)
5, one to hold the light bulb, four to turn the ladderHow many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?When God said, %26quot;Let there be light%26quot;, Chuck Norris said, %26quot;say please.%26quot;How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?Jews
2 ... one to screw it in
and the other to protect the Jew-goldHow many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?lawyers
Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement:
Whereas the party of the first part, also known as %26quot;The Lawyer%26quot;, and the party of the second part, also known as %26quot;The Light Bulb%26quot;, do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:
1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, said direction being non-negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the aforementioned customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the non-negotiable directional codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout.
2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part (%26quot;Receptacle%26quot;), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.
3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part (%26quot;New Light Bulb%26quot;). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable.
NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as %26quot;The Firm%26quot;.How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?men. The answer is: we'll never know as it never happens!!How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?How many women does it take to change a lightbulb, 4
1 TO DO THE JOB %26amp; 3 TO HELP COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW HER HUSBAND SHOULD HAVE DONE IT BEFORE DOING THE GARDEN, THE DECORATING, %26amp; WASHING THE CAR..How many ____ does it take to change a lightbulb?how many schizophrenics doe it take to screw a light bulb in
2. ....no it dosent....yes it does....im telling you it dosent.....
